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So the irritability you are feeling can be anxiety and depression.
You’re not a bad person. You’re just dealing with a stage in life that is not what you expected it to be. What is not helpful is other people telling you how you should feel or act regarding this stage in life.
You need to set aside time, and ask (with gusto), for time to reconnect with yourself. Choose something that reconnects you with yourself and your youth and hope to do everyday for 20-45 minutes.
You’re worth it.
It’s also helpful to understand your worst triggers and find ways to avoid them. For instance I’m a terrible morning person and add that to waking up to a messy house. It’s just not good. So I make a point of going through the house at night before going to bed setting things to rights so I wake up to a happy orderly home. I just started making cold brew coffee overnight in the fridge and it’s a game changer too. I try to keep breakfast simple or prepare it ahead of time to be heated up.
You probably have very different triggers so if you’re not aware of what they are, start to record your outbursts and circumstances down, and review in a couple weeks.
With both your husband and your toddler, challenge yourself to start looking for the positives. Try to say "yes" more often than "no" (that means setting up your kid for success, not putting the kid in situations where you'll have to be nagging them constantly). Look for opportunities to praise or thank them. It might feel a bit forced at first, but really try to get in the mindset of remembering what you're grateful for about them, and making sure they hear it at least as often as they hear the negativity. (And while you're at it, try to do the same thing for yourself too - what are you grateful for about yourself? what do you love about you? trust me, there's still plenty to love even if it doesn't feel like it right now, you just have to look for it).
There's also nothing wrong with putting YOURSELF in "time out" if you need a few minutes to catch your breath - it's actually a great lesson for your kiddo, that everyone gets mad sometimes and can handle that anger responsibly by taking a minute to calm themselves.
I go mad when I heard my son crying loudly or shouting. I feel sick of noises. I lose control over myself when I hear any kind of noise whether it's hammer sound, loud voice/ laughter or anything. I feel like screaming out loud to shut everything & everyone up. I never try to hide my feelings or to pretend to be fine when everything is not ok. I was under depression treatment for 6 months too. My hubby was handling my baby at that time. But it takes lots of time to visit the doctor, sit with her for hours (at least 3 to 4 hours) & discuss. I felt like it's not working for me, so stopped going. & Yes you are right I don't like when people around me start saying what I am supposed to do. That's the second terrible thing that's happening to me right now. That's why I felt like locking myself within 4 walls. I know these things are going to be worst for me in future. But now I really think of only one thing, whatever wrong is going on with me, it shouldn't affect my child & his future. But slowly 'm realizing it's affecting him. I am trying to move to a new place so that I will get bit space in my life but shifting to some other place by leaving own house is not that easy for us to do right now. I spend time on my hobbies everyday & enjoy playing with son. But things go wrong when I hear noise & unwanted advice or remarks by judgmental people. It's not that I was like this earlier. I was good at handling everything by ignoring such people but now I am not able to do so. I feel like I am alone & I have to deal with everything all alone. I hate each & every people around me. Can you please suggest me if I could do anything to fix the situation & to handle my baby. I want only one thing right now. My baby should not cry or shout out loud. It's natural toddlers do that but I am not able to accept it.